welcome
Nothing to do to save his life
call his wife in
Nothing say but what a day
how's your boy been
Nothing to do, it's up to you
I've got noting to say but it's O.K.
Good morning, good morning, good morning
Going to work don't want to go
feeling low down
Heading for home you start to roam
then you're in town
Everybody knows there's nothing doing
Everything is closed, it's like a ruin
Everyone you see is half asleep
And you're on your own, you're in the street
Friday, July 3, 2009, Friday, July 03, 2009
Singaporean Culture from Papa
Firstly darling, it is very hard for me- a true blue Singaporean- to write about my homeland's culture despite living my entire existence in the pathetic unglossy streets every single day! Singapore is definitely a multicultural nation, with more foreigners than the locals itself, and the number of expatriates is increasing. Everywhere is flooding with Caucasians, Indians, Chinese, Myanmarise (is that even a word), what-ever-nationals. Not once, have I step out of my flat (Singaporean slang for apartment) without seeing someone unSingaporean. Its freaking me out! I was walking with my peeps in the ultimate cultural convention, Orchard Road and I commented on how unSingaporean everyone looks and we were probably the only pure-bred Singaporean on that street. Yes people, how you're bred is important. I was thinking, if we were the only Singaporean in like lets say, a ratio of 3-8, than a majority of Singapore are not Singaporeans, but unpurebred-Singaporean people. Then why the hell are we still calling this unfabulously humid country Singapore? Shouldn’t we call it like MyaChiDian? It all started with the incredible government agreement that foreigners are good for Singapore, they get pay less, complain less, bring more "tourism" to Singapore blah... Well, I'm not ridiculing the foreign workers, I'm actually complimenting them (my style), without them who would want to sweep the flats? Clean the sewers? Make us order around? hmm. PAP Forever! But, there is always too much of a good thing in Singapore, like there are so many malls and everything looks the same that I pretty much seen everything, from high-street to street, its boring. I was complaining the other day at a bubble tea store with my peeps that this non-English speaking girl with untamed hair didn't take my order perfectly, I ordered Strawberry Milkshake, she gave me Strawberry Milk-Tea. Do you know how freaking offending is that to a Singporean when you don't take their orders perfectly! Worse, I once experienced another unEnglish speaking girl conjuring my Blue Coral bubbletea in terrible ratio, I was horrified! Note to people, never ever mess with me with Bubble Tea, it ain't pretty. Back to the pre-explained point, why are nonEnglish speaking people getting jobs that clearly requires English speaking capabilities. I'm not criticising the people, fairly I think its very cute that they are working hard to learn a foreign language. But come on! My BubbleTea order needs to be perfect. As I'm rereading my entry, I thought how selfish I was judging the people who clearly want to earn a living just because they can't speak English. I imagined, is this what my fellow, South Koreans, Japanese, French, Saudi counterparts must feel when I arrive in their countries and take the jobs from their own citizens, without me even knowing the language- actually I do know the respectable languages, just not that fluently- bitch must feel thrilled!I once chat with my French friend via MSN, and I sort of ask him isn't this awkward were talking to each other, he's European and I'm Asian. My continent used to be his continent's slaves, battlefield... He replied its all about Globalisation. He recorded himself saying Globalisation and sends it to me via MSN. It was funny and totally French, it sounded like, "Glob-ba-li-sion". And yes, I do somehow fitted my French between my everyday school use like, "accelerasion", "tres"... Ah, globalisation, many people love it because colour, difference is fading due to that word, but personally I hate it. People can marry whoever they like, eat whatever they like, meet whoever they like, European think its cool to wear kimonos, Japanese think its cool to be tanned and blonde... I have a love-hate relationship with this Globalisation thing, and that’s why I hate it. I can't choose. I credit Globalisation to meeting my fellow Korean, Japanese wave, French chic to my wardrobe and it literally changed my life. But however, I criticise Globalisation for making my Korean hanboks into mini-hanboks, French coffee into just another bistro in New York City, Japanese tea into another product. I loathe it. Culture and difference is diminishing. Singapore is having the same problem, we are losing our Singapore spirit. Our "wah lau", is being replaced with "Oh My God!", our "kanina!" is being turned into the less elegant "fuck you!". Our satay is fatteningly replaced with good old chicken breasts. My baju kurong is being replaced jubahs! Singapore Spirit is DISSAPEARING!Let me tell you a faboosh story (Perez Hilton lovers know the word), I wanted to buy a classic brown chapal with my fabulously white satin baju kurong in Geylang, but then this Pak Cik- Note that people are calling Uncle more than Cik or Pak Cik nowadays- said that it will look much better with white. And so I was tired and brought the white to make that whoeverperson happy. I mean, I wanted a classic brown chapal not a modern white dyed chapal. Even more, when we look at Najib Ali's or Cik Sal's outfits on Kepak Bing Bing the classic, elegant baju kurong is DESTROYED...It just looks like some fabulously couturific fabric pasted together, there was no Soul!Now, if you step outside your home for a moment, you will look at the mistake Singapore and its government are doing. Too Much Renovations! Everything is constantly improving to fit in the global standard. Like, you can't have a building with a traditional Singaporean roof; it has to be the HDB-fied roof. Now, if you notice that is what makes Haji Lane so appealing, everything so old school, so classic. Singaporeans feel one with the environment, no cement, HDB-fied feeling. That is also one of the reasons tourists love riding the Singaporean boats along The River and visiting the old Haji Lane. It is something totally Old School Pure Singaporean. As I'm typing while listening to Big Bang's song Wonderful, I thought this is just the tip of the iceberg. Singapore has got to be more than just Haji Lane and the Singapore River. Alright, let’s get back to basics, the description of a pure-bred true Singaporean man. - Born to the native four main subs: Malay, Indian, Chinese, Caucasian - Born IN Singapore- Speak in Singaporean Tongue- Very bossy- Always complain ...This are the very basic foundation of any true blue Singaporean, now we have, locals marrying from other countries, lets strike the first one off. Next, some people decided they were of upper-class, btw there are lots of misconceptions of class which I'm going to sort out in the next paragraph- and decided to give birth in London or Australia, strike the second one. Then, some people believed that SingLish is pathetic and is destroying the English language, bitch, the English themselves are not speaking English well what more can you say about the-non-English, strike No.3! They decided to get themselves into therapy about their attitudes and decided to change, strike No 4 and No5! Now, I believe I own ALL of those qualities. Prior to my mention about classism just engulfs me to anger beyond my normal anger state. Long time ago in France during the age of my queen, HRH Marie Antoinette, classism was based on wealth and ranking. Then, a few centuries later after the death of Napolean, classism was based on refinement. It was made official that class was based on elegance, grace and attitude in the 1940's. If you don't believe me, ask yourself, does Paris Hilton have class? She has the millions and the ranking as a Hilton, but does she have class? You know the answer and believe me I can give you million more other "classy" people like Paris at a drop of a hat. Audrey Hepburn was born not rich, but she's totally class. Now, the misconceptions that Singaporean have is that, your typical Singaporean are not classy. Really!This may be hard to swallow but, hey, sometimes I do feel I wish to be born Korean, Japanese or French, or all three in one blood. We had to believe that those American-slang was better or dressing like a french in all freaking black and heels are better. It is actually! Once when I was in my younger years and my fellow comrades and I were riding our MRT home, there was this nerdish group of dorks who were sitting in front of us, and 2 out of the 3 were American Chinese and they speaked in the casual American Slang, and the Singaporean boy was hanging onto their every word like as if it was a proposition from God. One fat ugly boy, who was busily bragging about the subways in America thought that American subways were much faster and talked on and on about "In America...". How I wish I could meet that nerd again. It is still so clear in my mind. I mean, he is an ugly nerd, and his friends are dorks, how the hell could dorks criticise My MRT? You are an ugly, sweaty, fat chinese-american nerd, for chirst-sake! haha. I'm lost. Alright I found myself again. People who speak good English are praised upon like made up bitches. People who studies overseas are idolised by their cousins, regardless of having no job with that degree. I literally hate when Singaporean decided, "hey, Why do I want to be a normal t-shirt and jeans wearing Singaporean, I can do better!" and then they decided to awesomeness of buying US VOGUE, reading Australian Harper's Bazaar... but she ends up being this Singaporean-trying-to-look-caucassian bitch! Singaporean have this look of constantly looking stressful, awkward in wierd clothes, too much of everthing look, and believe me even in KL where there are so much more malays I can spot in Singaporean a mile away. And its not only me, Sinagporean can spot Singaporeans however they dress ,in different countries, even with plastic surgery. Don't you people know the story of how a Singaporean Tai-Tai decided to migrate to Australia and did plastic surgery on herself to make herself look more Australian, only ending up to be complimenting "Singapore is a very good country" by the passport checkers in Berlin? Maybe you haven't but I have.I have this impossible dream that one day, a Miss Universe will be crown from one of my family members and glory to all Singaporean. I am an avid fan of Miss Universe pageants and everytime I awaited for the Miss Singapore to come out in our national outfit, she looked like CRAP. Literally CRAP. The costume was so hidious that I could barely hold my mouth of criticising her. I mean, we are made of 4 freaking cultures and yet this freaking representative of Singapore is wearing another dress crap that looked like trash and does not reflect on the Singaporean Country. Maybe trash and crap is our national costume! Props to the people in Tuas and our amazing landfills. If you could remember, Miss Coloumbia or Mexico was critised greatly for having empty bullets on their costumes.I thought that they were proud enough to show to the universe that they are proud of their country despite the bad points. Even Germany and Russia are proud to be wearing their costumes despite having Hitler and the Soviet Union. Singapore will sadl will never even make it to the Top 15 if we keep this up. There was one interview done in a crappy show on Channel 5 long time ago about Singapore, where the host interviewed these old caucassian tourists asking them how'd they like Singapore. They replied, "it feels like Sydney here". To me it is very offending, when you come to come to a foreign country and you feel that, that particular country feels like your country. I mean, bitch, I travelled 5 hours to come to a different country and I expect a different view, not same old Sydney!Why do we feel so unpatriotic. There was a comment posted on Chit Chat With Beautiful Ladies on KBS, when the panels commented that the Koreans are very patriotic. I have to greatly agree with this. They have a long, strong, solid evidence that they totally support their local products, does anyone remember the name Rain Bi or Big Bang? Does anyone remember the movie My Girl? People look at patriotism and they respect that, that is why those big production houses are copying these products. They are proud of their products and they are showing it off to the world that they have an identity despite the good and bad points. The only thing I feel that Singaporean are truely proud of their homebased product, is TigerBeer. Laugh all you want, but TigerBeer really is a huge product and it is sold globally. To sum it all up, Singaporeans are basicly these group of Modern Islanders, easily irritated, impatient, ill-virtuous, boastful, lowsy, siak, kiasu people...which in a sense of the world is only Unique to Singapore and its culture.
